I realized that I wanted my life to reflect the same desire to serve God.

Also, the more I frequented Holy Mass the more the desire grew within my heart to give up my life as a priest. When I would watch the priest during Holy Mass, especially at the moments of consecration, I longed to be the man at the altar, offering the sacrifice.

Gradually, from the inspiration of these experiences and from time in prayer I decided to answer “yes” to God’s desire. However, after making the decision I was afraid to mention anything to anyone for a good two weeks. Finally, after holding this decision within myself for so long (at least it seemed long to me), I decided that I should tell someone. So, I went to one of my friends, Kimberly, and I talked things out with her. She, however, was not surprised by my news, which in turn left me surprised. You see, Kimberly was the music minister at my home parish and as part of her job she had regular parish staff meetings with the priests of our parish. She told me that she already heard the news, because Fr. Milsted had mentioned something at their last meeting about my desire to join the priesthood. Upon hearing how she heard of the news, I was dumbfounded. How did Fr. Milsted know, if I had not said anything to him?

Needless to say, I took this conversation as an affirmation from God that I was following the right path. However, by the time the end my senior year of high school rolled around I was still not comfortable with entering the diocesan seminary, so I decided to go to the University of Alabama to study Spanish. By this time in my discernment process, I was drawn more to missionary work, and figured that learning Spanish would be a good aid for me in fulfilling this call.

Interestingly enough, it was during this time at college that I discovered the Institute of the Incarnate Word. Kimberly once again played an important role in helping me find my vocation. In January of my freshman year, she offered to take me and a few of the other college students from my home parish to the March for Life in Washington, D.C. During our time in D.C. she informed us that we would stay with a little known religious order that she had friends in. Here it was, my introduction to the I.V.E. Over the course of three days leading up to the March for Life, I spent time living in the novitiate house and meeting the novices and many of the priests. I watched how every one in the order had this unique joy and humble spirit about them, and I could not help but desiring the same thing in my life. I was also impressed by their dedication to the Sacred Liturgy and by the fact that they take a fourth vow of Marian slavery.

So, upon returning home from the trip I looked into taking one the Spiritual Exercises retreats the Institute offers at the novitiate house. After convincing my parents, I flew back to D.C. for four days and made the retreat. Following the conclusion of the four day silent retreat, I met with Fr. Mariano Vicchi (the master of novices) and informed him that I desired to enter the order. He saw no reason why it should be a problem and upon talking it over for a little longer, we set the date for May.

So I returned home with a piece of surprising news for my family and friends, but as I expected they were very supportive of my decision. After concluding my freshman year of classes, I withdrew from college, spent about two weeks at home, and then—on May 21st, 2007—I entered the I.V.E.

However, my story does not end there. After spending four months in the order, I grew incredibly homesick, and because of a combination of temptation and of my own weakness, I left the Institute in September of 2007. Upon leaving the order, I returned home and found work, through the grace of God, working at my home parish of St. Lawrence. During this time, I toyed with the thought of giving the diocesan seminary a try, but nothing ever pushed me to fill out the application for admittance. I can only explain this as God’s Providence. He knew where I belonged, only I had to figure it out as well.

While I was working at St. Lawrence, I developed a friendship with one of the office staff, Mary Ann. She was not only knowledgeable about the blessings of religious life, but also very knowledgeable about its hardships. Through many conversations with her, I discovered the mistake that I had made in leaving the Institute.

After discussing it with my parish priest, Fr. Williams, and my parents, I came to the conclusion that it was necessary for me to return to the Institute. During my time away from the order, I never found the state of peace that I thought I would find upon returning home. Instead, I found confusion as to what I was doing with my life, and this was a direct result of my not following the will of God. So, one afternoon I sat down and wrote a lengthy letter to Fr. Mariano explaining everything that was going on in my mind and my desire to return to the Institute. About two weeks later, I received an e-mail from Fr. Mariano stating that everything was good to go for my re-entrance. A few months later, on June 14, 2008 I returned to the Institute. Upon my return it immediately felt like home and I had once again found the grace of peace that comes with following the will of God.

I thank Our Blessed Mother for her guidance throughout this process, which I like to call my “vocational journey”. She has blessed me with so many graces that have aided me in finding the path that God has laid out for me within the Institute of the Incarnate Word and more importantly, within the priesthood of Christ, her Son. Although I may not recognize her heavenly assistance, I am most grateful that she has carried me here so that I may fulfill God’s purpose for giving me life.

Created on 10/04/2008 09:08 AM by Admin Updated on 11/23/2008 01:14 PM by Admin